Jacintas's Smile – Sibling Bereavement Support

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Sadly, we know how you feel. We get it.

We are here to support you through losing your sibling.

We provide adventure days out with others that feel it too and we provide subsidised therapy in your area.

Don’t be shy. We know it can be awkward and we know we would like to meet you.

#wegotyou #wegotthis

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Hello All, Tomorrow Aishleen and myself will be

Hello All,

Tomorrow Aishleen and myself will be speaking with @kathiestritchpt of @griefireland about sibling loss.

Since beginning to be active on social media in the last couple of months we have really been so surprised and honoured to hear the realities of loss being sent to us and the connection we have all felt in relation to losing a sibling.

We began this organisation to support children that have lost a sibling as we always felt we were almost the only ones who had this huge life changing and devastating event.

We sadly knew of a few other families but not many. Not enough to make us feel in some way normal.

However, since beginning this organisation we have been introduced to so many others that understand this devastating loss.

We continue to raise awareness of the destruction and daily gutting that we can feel in the years past and know what’s to come in the years ahead.

And importantly through our social media we also share what’s helping us along this bumpy road.

So if you do know of anyone that has lost a sibling whether in childhood or adulthood do send them over to us.

We are aware that this is a sensitive subject but genuinely we are also so aware that by us sharing this parts of ourselves in honestly and rawness that it empowers others to speak out about their loss and pain and that is exactly why we do this.

Continue the conversation of grief to normalise our reactions to it, especially children.

Jacinta’s Smile is a fully registered organisation, we have over 20 qualified and accredited play therapist and counsellors Nationwide.

We facilitate free work shops, meet ups and are always creating ways to connect with others that simply understand you with our having to speak it out.

And we thrive to offer continuous tailored support.

So do feel free to let others know about our free service and our live tomorrow evening ❤️

Ps. We know that although people grievances may be different whether it’s child loss, sibling, parent, cousin etc we know that the feelings can be similar so if there anyone else you think may benefit do feel free to come along ✨ #grief #hope #siblingloss #joy

@latelaterte @instatubridy ✨

@latelaterte @instatubridy ✨

Those moments of reality! #grief #siblingloss #h

Those moments of reality!

#grief #siblingloss #heartbreak #family #lost #hope

I watched an IGTV with @marian_keyes and my god wh

I watched an IGTV with @marian_keyes and my god what a gift she is ✨

My head almost fell off with all of the nodding I was doing in response to every thing she was saying.

Writing had always been an escape for me, a way to move through the madness in my own head, a way to speak to myself like I could never voice aloud, a way to hear myself as I opened up the cracks in my body and let the hurt, love and gratitude fall out and at the same time just simply fall in, to the places it needed to go.

I used to have a website and Facebook page where I would write about life, how I felt in the world around me, how I chose to move within the atmosphere of my mind and how gratitude would always lead me into the right spaces.

The other night I went through my old page and reread some of my pieces.

It sounded like a distant part of myself was calling me, yearning for me but I couldn’t go there to reach that part of Katie-Anne from five years ago.

She was happy, intuitive, fearless, open hearted and courageous in effortlessly attending to what was coming up in that moment.

I miss those parts of her.

I miss writing and expressing the good as well as the difficult.

I became fearful of what others thought and generally how to be in the world.

(As I am writing it’s strange that to get to the next paragraph I have to keep pressing return).

I have diaries upon diaries of hopes, dreams and visions. I forget how to be in that place again.

@marian_keyes passion and movement and excitement in her video is beautiful and brings me back to that passion.

Little by little I will begin to break through my fears and remember to do what I have always loved.

Putting pen to paper.

#hope #death #loss #identity #fear #love #passion

I wrote this five years ago. It’s speaking aga

I wrote this five years ago.

It’s speaking again to the support that is incredibly needed at times of wake and the days around the funeral.

This is currently not happening near as supportively now due to Covid 🥺

Just to bear on mind when you know of someone that is grieving last year or the coming year.

March 16th 2016...........

Is it strange to be walking arm in arm with your sibling, behind your sisters coffin and stating how beautiful the day has been?

It feels a strange sentence to voice allowed to those around me, but i felt the urge, the light and the warmth.

As we followed behind her coffin up to the graveyard the men that carried her were not only carrying her body they were also carrying and lightening our loads, our bodies and our hearts.

On January 4th she collapsed in her own home in the presence of the two people that brought her in to the world. They then had the rights of passage to be present as she left this physical world.

On January 5th she passed away. She had fallen to a Brain Haemorrhage. The last words that surrounded her were, “we love you and all your sisters support you” and with that she took her last breath and she was released, she was ready to go.

Coming from a family that has already lost our brother Declan to a Brain Tumour we knew the familiar feelings of the hurt, anger, frustration, confusion and the endless dark days that lay ahead of us. We believed that lightening wouldn't and couldn't strike twice, we were wrong.

The disbelief lays undisturbed inside of me even as i write. The instant emptiness, instant space and instant overwhelm of distorted reality embodied and rocked us to our very core. To be told there is no going back and to say our goodbyes is an unfair feeling that already sadly existed within each of us.

My body shook, no amount of blankets or warm tea could take the coldness from my bones. As we said our goodbyes one by one we embraced and sat tight to each other to try to fill that empty feeling that none could fill.

Deciding to bring back my innocence where i could run from reality i played bumping cars in the hallway with Ethan.

Continued in comments 👇🏻

In today’s stories we speak of the funerals that

In today’s stories we speak of the funerals that are happening at the minute.

Writing condolences on rip.ie is the best we can do for now but in our experience of funerals this is incredibly unfair and absolutely not enough.

We know that this needs to be done.

However, we want to acknowledge all of you whom have not been able to give your loved one the send off that you know they deserved.

You have not been met with the beautiful, gentle and tender eyes of those that should be standing in the pews as you walked behind the coffin, in and out, of those you should be sitting down and hearing stories from and from those that shake your hand and should have the honour to sit and cry with you at the kitchen table.

We wish to acknowledge what you did not get, that physical wake as you try to bring yourself up from your knees with no one around to lift you. 🖤

To be seen in your pain, your despair and your emptiness.

It’s connection, not attention.

We see you x

No one really speaks of the bitterness that comes

No one really speaks of the bitterness that comes with death 🖤

Tomorrow is Jacinta’s anniversary and as I’ve said before I’m finally beginning to feel emotion, the numbing is moving through me.

But as I sit, I have realised I have come to a place that I haven’t felt in five years. I am carrying less bitterness.

And honestly, you have no idea how good this feels 😌

For the first year there was a range of emotion, a lot of love actually 💓

And then it changed.

I began to get bitter, jealous and angry towards others that I felt didn’t “get it” or more importantly didn’t “get me” or it looked like they didn’t give a s*** what I was going through 🤯

It was so excruciatingly difficult when I’d see happy smiling families all over social media, friends and families showing off their growing clan whilst ours was diminishing in front of our very eyes, i had no control in it.

I resented those that had hope. Those that grieved and seemed to be still able to manage.

I was bitter and infuriated towards those that told me they were choosing to live better lives because Jacinta couldn’t. How dare you use her 🖤

And how come Jacinta is helping them to be ok and not me!!! 🤬

And I won’t lie a little piece of that is still in me.

I had to learn that others will feel inspired whilst I feel torture.

However, I can now feel that this bitterness towards others is leaving and it’s the smallest breath of fresh air on an icy morning.

I can actually feel some warmth from the sun as it begins to melt the ice within me.

I hope this lasts.

One thing I think that has helped in this transition is knowing it was ok to be feeling all of the bitter pain and especially when it felt like it would never lift.

It’s hard as it’s not my usual disposition 🥺

The anger broke me fully.

I do know it will return. Yet I know that it will not be as powerful through the years ahead.

So, although my feelings are becoming more real, authentic and wholly felt - with that comes the feeling of love. I missed it.

It’s nice to begin to crack open my tender heart, a little bit at a time ✨

And with no expectations of how my experiences will be.

#hope #grief #anger #pain

In relation to our last few stories here are a few

In relation to our last few stories here are a few thoughts ✨

Jacinta’s death is setting in now even though it’s been five years it seems to be getting tougher due to the shock and numbness wearing off 😣

If you know someone grieving text them or send them a message simply saying “thinking of you” and always if you can end it with “do not reply” that takes so much pressure off the person that really has not got the energy to think let alone respond.

It wasn’t until we spoke on our stories that we received these lovely messages of support. But we are fortunate here to have this platform to speak of our losses and the intensity of them. So do just text the person. You can’t fix it but being acknowledged in the pain of grief is so stunning and so appreciated, always. 👌🏻

When the griever has had a tough day, hour or night it’s so important that you know that just because they have expressed their sadness and gotten through it does not mean that they are not still sad 😔 Sadness is always floating around (and in time -hope).

That some people will say “can’t you just move on” even people you love and respect. But it’s not possible. If you were to try and forget and block it out you may get sick, your body remembers. For example, my alopecia, our dads triple by pass due to a physically broken heart 💔 Do not underestimate the the power of the body in holding your grief.

I fully understand how incredibly difficult it is for a person watching another person they love in pain and yearning and how you can not fix the person. Especially men it is there “role” to be practice and make things physically better but in death there is no fixing 🖤 it can lead to frustration, being fed up and feeling worthless and helpless. So I understand where this “can’t you just move on” can come from. It is just not a possibility.

Let me emphasises, that we as a family have certainly been through a lot, however we are absolutely no stronger than any other soul going through the darkness.

We speak of this so that we can try to eliminate the loneliness and isolation of grief.

Our shattered hearts are with you and your deepend yearning, always. #hope

It’s our mums birthday today 🎂 There is not a

It’s our mums birthday today 🎂 There is not a lot you can do for a lady that has buried three children 🤷‍♀️ So a walk in the wind and rain with a pair of wellies and holding her grandchild’s hand is all she wanted ❤️ For us watching her grieve and fall slowly to pieces, to then transition and continuously wake up and face the day with a broken soul is both devastating and stunning. ❤️ We admire this woman and we always will be so grateful for teaching us how to keep living and moving with our losses ✨ She’s got this 👌🏻 Happy birthday mom x #groef #childloss #hope #love

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