From Our Own Experiences
We believe that although we are from the one blood, the one set of parents and grew up in the one household we know that we are all completely different in ways in which we cope with our grief.
For example, speaking on our parents behalf, our mother Helen finds it difficult to see all the cousins moving with their lives and finding themselves. Where as our father Frank finds it impossible to with a man walking his daughter down the aisle, he will never have that honour to walk Jacinta down the aisle, instead he carried her coffin.
We all are effected by our losses in various ways. What we do know however is that we need to mind ourselves. We do this in distinct and separate ways to each other.
Our Self Care
Aishleen`s Self care looks something like this:
- Warm, clean, white bed sheets
- A good book/Netflix
- A good nights sleep
- A walk by the sea
- Now that Bobbys come along- a cuddle
- Remembering that her friends love her
- And when she’s really being good to herself –a trip to Dublin for a facial by her friend Una in Anu Beauty and a wash and blowdry
Katie-Anne’s self care looks something like this
- A glass of hot water with lemon in the morning-she feels like she has completed at least one good thing that day
- Remembering self compassion
- Going very slowly
- Writing in her journal with sad songs in the background
- Tea and toast in bed
- An open fire with friends
- Holding hands with her fiance
- And cuddling with Bobby
Charlotte’s self care looks something like this
- Charlotte’s motto is “Love yo self”
- Having a lie in if needs be
- Finding a good deal online
- Spicebag in her comfy tracksuit
- Ensuring she takes her medication
- Bottomless brunch with her girls that love her
- Being with Ry Ry
Sheridan’s self care looks something like this
- Late night laughs with his girlfriend
- Being with his family
- Having an afternoon nap
- Going for a drive
Ethan’s self care looks something like this
- Friday night curry with the family
- Eating Aishleen’s healthy dinners
- Going for a run/cycle
- Knowing he can always talk to us about his mammy
- Electric blanket
- Tea and biscuits after school
- Spending time with his friends
- Playing on the Playstation
- We also think there is a gf at the minute so that helps
All of us know that our self care can be very difficult to be in, without the guilt of thinking we need to be or do something else with this time.
However, it is vital.
Going through multiple losses can leave so much fear, uncertainty and complications in a persons soul. It is important to nourish this spirit with warmth and hugs and human connection.
We watched our parents care for us and for each other. This has empowered us to care for ourselves.
We move through or days with open wounds of which in time we allow ourselves to heal with grace. It is a process.
Go gently and with grace,
Aishleen, Katie-Anne & Charlotte